The knight is still white

Apparently I still play the white knight.

I went to a new bar tonight, Back Streets. I wanted to hear the jam session going on there tonight, one of the guys playing is the father of a student of mine. Yes, it blows me away too that the father of one of my students is in a local band and I enjoy seeing him play.

It's not often I can be out till 2AM at a bar with the parents of a student. I am totally enjoying this.

But just to make things clear, what happened tonight was in no way influenced by my need to behave around these parents. I still end up playing the white knight.

It was nothing particularly significant, just another example of my playing the role.

I was sitting at the bar with my back to the bar enjoying the live music. In walks a pretty blonde woman and she takes the bar stool immediately to my right.

I noticed that this new woman seemed out of sorts. She appeared upset, and was pounding away on her cell phone. She got the attention of some guy nearby who was leering over at her. He kept looking like he was going to come over and start hitting on her.

Finally, I reached over and put my hand on her arm. I was surprised that she acted like this was totally normal. But that was perfect, I wanted the guy to think that she came and sat next to me because we were together.

I leaned in close to her and asked her if she was ok. She smiled weakly and told me she was fine. She did have a very pretty smile. She looked like she was going to cry though.

The guy chose then to come over. He dropped two dollars in front of her and said something about how he was happy she was smoking (wth?). At that point the girl turned all her attention on me. She said "Now I feel like acheap whore." The guy couldn't hear any of this, he had walked away.

The girl was slurring her words and seemed quite drunk. I placed my hand on top of her's and rubbed the top of her hand gently. I reassured her that she shouldn't feel like a whore because he did something crazy like that. I mean, he was hovering and paying way too much attention to her and all.

A few moments later I hear her say "F-ck you" and look over, she was speaking at her phone, at a text message. I leaned over again and asked her again if she was alright. The guy came back in and walked behind her, so I placed a hand on her arm. He got the hint.

She got up to go, and I thought to stop her. She was way gone. I wanted to call a cab for her, at least make sure she had a wa to get home safely. Instead I watched as she left.

My whole way home the white knight part of me was kicking me. I should have made sure she would be ok. But I can't be everyone's hero all the time, the black king part of me said.

But the voice of the white knight is strong in me still. I am concerned that a woman I don't know-- heck, I don't even know her name-- and was very drunk is safely home. I can't always be everyone's hero, but I could have been her hero tonight. And who knows, maybe in the little I did I was.

White Knight

Seems every time I bring up the white knight it is in reference to some gender equality issue. This time is no different.

Back in High School I went out with a girl that hated when I did things like hold the door open for her, tried to pay for her meals, and really just defered to her in any way. She somehow felt that these actions were my way of making her out to be "less than" or inferior to me.

Recently too I red a blog that claimed that women wanted a man that was not chivalrous, that treated a woman as an equal.

I've heard women complain that chivalry is dead, and women complain about men being chivalrous. Pardon my simple male brain, but what is wrong with a man having a simple respect for a woman?

My holding the door open for you or buying a meal is not meant as an indication that you, as a female, are somehow "less than." Half my board is female, and that was not by design, although it is coincidental that the females are segregated to the Queenside of the board and the males to the Kingside. It just worked out that way.

And for heaven's sake, my offering to buy you a drink at the bar is not my way of telling you that I want to get into your pants.

I was raised to respect women, and as I grew up I learned to respect people. It is possible for a guy to act wihtout ulterior motive. And it is possible for a guy to hold the door open for a woman and not think that she is utterly incapable of figuring out how to exit (or enter) a building without the help of a male.

I guess when it all comes down to it, if I have to pretend to be rude just so that you don't feel I am looking down on you... well, maybe it is better we part company. It will be much better for your self-esteem.

Black and White part two

Both black and white believe their cause to be just. They believe that they are upholding righteousness in their struggle. White is always the aggressor however. White always takes the first move. Black then is on the defensive.

White reflects the light, black absorbs it. Either can be seen as righteous.

In the end though, there remains that duality. Not only is there White in Black Territory and vice-versa, but when a pawn successfully travels to the edges of the opposing territory they are transfigured and become more powerful.

Only by understanding your enemy do you ever understand yourself. How can you ever understand your own position if you don't understand the contra? By embracing this duality the weakest piece can become the most powerfull.

There is white and black in everything. Duality all around us. I was the White Knight, then the Black Knight, and finally the Black King. Amd now I understand that white, black-- its all the same. In one is the other.

Two righteous forces on the field, fighting a manifestation of a part of themselves. No wonder so many matches can only end in stalemate.

Black King <-> White Knight

Ok, a very serious post. Something has been bugging me lately.

Back in December I had a really hot date. She was drop-dead gorgeous and dressed to kill. We had a really great time, I will spare you all the details, but she had a little too much to drink and when I brought her to her house I found that she was locked out.

So I did what every red blooded American male would do...

I made sure she managed to get inside and safely to sleep.

I am the Black King in this chess game that is life, but in my heart I am still the white knight, I would find it very hard to live with myself if I took advantage of a woman like that. I did what I know was the right thing to do.

Yet upon confiding in some friends and telling them this story they called me an idiot and said that she must have planned all this. What I find interesting is that the friends who said this were females themselves.

Is it really so commonplace now that women expect and even insist on being taken advantage of and, essentially, raped? Is my respect for a woman really that out of this world? I could chose to believe that they were just mocking me and poking fun, but even in jest they are revealing a social norm and expectation, a man is expected to take advantage of a woman in a precarious position.

Well, I don't regret my decision that night. If I am weird in showing respect for the fairer gender, call me crazy. But inside of me beats the heart of a White Knight.

Frankly, I am bothered that society finds my actions unusual and would condone such unbecoming behaviour.